. . . and I plot my revenge

Thursday, July 6th, 7:o5 p.m.

As I was recovering from one seriously wicked migraine, I had to come to grips with the fact that my daughter needed a bath. I didn't bathe her the night before because I was too tired and she's not old enough to do it by herself.

We hike up a flight of stairs and I hear the usual delay tactic, "wanna go potty". I say "fine" and hoist my "little" 40lb tike up onto the "potty" while I let the tub fill up with the whole 2 inches of water I let her have. She grabs stuff off the counter and what-not.

I walk way for about 2 seconds to get a new washcloth (because she's finished her round of eye drops for pink-eye on Tuesday and I don't want to inadvertently give it back to her) when I see her standing in the middle of the bathroom floor, naked cheeks and all, looking at the toilet saying "where'd it go?". I said, "where did what go?". Then to my dismay and horror, I notice my tweezers are missing. Okay. Don't panic! 1st: tweezers are expensive. 2nd: tweezers are metal.

I was not about to fetch them right then and there. I did not want her to get the impression that it's okay to stick her hand in the potty. We just broke that habit. We proceeded with the bath, got dressed, dried the hair, and then like magic my mom appears over my shoulder. I briefed her on the situation and she took the little devil while I decided how best to remedy this problem.

So there I was. A 27 year old. Crouching on the floor in front of a toilet and cringing about what I was going to have to do. No gloves. Wouldn't be able to feel the tweezers that way. I shook my head and said under my breath "I can't believe I'm going to do this" and then said "I'm going to get her when she has kids". Revenge planned, I took the plunge, literally. I got my tweezers and plotted about all the noisy toys her kids are going to get and how I'm going to pump them full of chocolate and then send them home.

Dirty deed completed. Arm and tweezers thoroughly scrubbed I went and told my mom about the revenge I had planned. She calmly looked me in the eye and looked and Jubi, who was running in circles around the room and said "I can't tell you how much stuff you and your sister dropped in the toilet."

It makes sense now.