Belying the Myth of "Baby Mama Drama"

Lately I've been kind of cranky and as Father's Day was winding down, I began to reminisce about the past few years with my daughter.

I hear people throwing around the phrase "baby mama drama". I despise that phrase. That saying puts my nerves on edge. It makes my teeth ache in that special fingernails-down-a-chalkboard kind of way. So I'm going to give a brief testimonial and talk about some other people I've heard stories from.

:::here you are standing on a precipice looking out into a vast cavern of disgust and bad karmatic memories which have a tang to them that is so rank you feel you might want to choose now to turn away and go visit a place with happy bunnies and fluffy kittens . . . your choice::: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~dive~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in summer 2001 i met a guy. he seemed nice so we decided to hook up. i was on the rebound. i made a few bad choices. yada, yada, yada (c/o Seinfeld) i had a baby. he was excited during my pregnancy. announced it to everyone. he was proud of his virility, like some caveman. he proceeded to decide, when she was 1 day old, that he didn't want children. she couldn't possibly be his because "she's a girl". that's right. mind blowing logic there. he then proceeded to become "lost" on the way to the hospital every time he was supposed to come visit her. she had to stay for 2 weeks because she was premature.

after she came home, he refused to come to see her. he said he had no money for gas. i told him that, if he could borrow the money from his family to come to see us, that i would give him the money to pay them back and to get home. well, then he just didn't have the time because he was too busy looking for a job. he finally got that job. you know what he spent that first check on? bought a new pair of pants for himself and some dog shampoo because his dog needed a bath.

MY daughter will be 3 in August. he has not seen her since she was 4 months old. he did not show up at court. he has never paid child support. he wrote me a letter in December 2004 wanting me to "bring our daughter to come meet her new little brother". EXCUSE ME?!? she's only his daughter too when it's convenient for him. he sure was claiming her when he was looking for work and he'd flash her picture when he was wanting sympathy & female company. seemed to work too.

i never asked for the money either. i sure could use it though. i'm sad that my daughter does not have a father, but i'm glad she doesn't know the idiot she's genetically related to.

*I once spoke with a young woman that used to work with me who had a good relationship with her father. Her parents were divorced but they did get along well enough. She said that her mother never wanted her to be burdened with knowing about the Child Support payments, but that her father would constantly bring up the money on visits. She said that, when she turned 18, her father gave her a birthday card and a check for 1 days worth of Child Support. When she asked what that was about he said "just in case". Her feelings were hurt. She said that it was not supposed to be about the money. He was supposed to be her father.

*A friend of mine is getting divorced. It's her second divorce. She had a child from her first marriage that her second husband legally adopted and they have one child together. Now that they're getting divorced he wants nothing to do with the child that he adopted and openly shows favor to the younger child.

I could go on and on, but my time is up and I'm sure you'd like to move on. If you feel depressed, eat some chocolate. If you think I'm crazy and you know there are women out there who do create drama for the baby daddies, don't forget that those women are the ones who are getting vomited on, woken up in the middle of the night, have snot in their hair, and have to figure out what to fix for dinner when running low on everything in the pantry.

so pardon me if i have no sympathy when i hear some boy-in-man's-clothing out there talking about his "baby mama drama" because i ain't buying it!

please follow the link provided to hear my theme song
"I Hate My Baby Daddy" by Shelly B

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=237597